Baby 411 & Toddler 411 Blog

Q of the day: Bedwetting, how much longer?!

Q. My 6 year old son has been toilet trained since he was 3, but he still wears pull-ups at night. We've tried to limit how much he drinks at night and all kinds of bribes, but nothing has worked. I'm considering taking the pull-up away to see if this will motivate him. Any suggestions?

A. This is a common misconception about toilet training. Daytime and Nighttime skills are completely independent of each other. A child may toilet train during the day and then it may be years before he is dry at night. Each milestone requires a certain level of both brain and body maturity. It's actually normal not to be dry at night until age 7.

To be dry at night, a child must have the bladder capacity to hold his pee all night long (and some kids really do have a teeny bladder). And, he must be able to wake up when the urge to pee occurs during sleep.

Most kids who still pee at night are deep sleepers who just don't have the nervous system maturity to be awakened by the feeling of needing to pee. So, if you leave your son in bed without a diaper, he will just awaken in a pool of pee. He won't be motivated by wanting to be dry or by any bribe you can offer (you have already tried that)--because it's not about lack of desire. It's about brain and body immaturity and a small bladder that can't hold it all night.

If he is 7, still wetting the bed, and really wants to be dry at night, then I recommend a bedwetting alarm (sold online for about $50--and sometimes reimbursed by health insurance) to do "behavioral training". A child can train his brain to awaken at the first sense of wetness. And after a few weeks, he'll awaken to the urge to pee. Yes, it really works for an older child who is committed to solving the problem.

For now, no caffeine and no liquids after dinner. The less he drinks, the less pee he will make at night. And, don't worry about it or punish him.

P.S. Bedwetting runs in families. But no one ever talks about it at Thanksgiving dinner.

The scoop on baby poop

Admit it. You spend too much of your day staring at baby poop...and thus, you are probably an expert by now.

But when your baby isn't pooping like he's supposed to, or he looks pretty uncomfortable when he's trying to "drop a deuce" (my teenager's new phrase after summer camp), you need some advice.

What's normal and what's not? And what should you do if your baby suffers from constipation? Here's an educational and entertaining video I shot with DadLabs. Enjoy!

Does parenthood ruin your sex life?

Umm, yes. A new survey from BabyTalk Magazine proves what most of us already know. In fact, three-fourths of parents who responded preferred sleep over sex. Read the details at Expecting 411 blog.

Q of the Day: My toddler is a crib jumper

Q. My 2 year old figured out how to climb out of his crib, so we moved him to a big boy bed. Now he routinely gets out of bed at night and goes to bother his 5 year old sister. Is it cruel to lock him in his room at night?

A. Your child's crib was a safe place. Now that he has graduated from the crib, you need to create a similar safe place for him. His bedroom should become his new "crib"--he can do whatever he wants in his bedroom, but he is not free to roam around the house at all hours of the night. It's not just disruptive--it's not safe.

With that in mind, I suggest making his bedroom completely safe for him to roam around. For example: make sure bookshelves and other heavy furniture (that is tempting to climb) is secured to the wall—it's especially important for those kids who enjoy doing crib acrobatics.  Then keep him in his bedroom at night by either placing a child safety handle on the door to his room or mounting a couple of safety gates (one on top of the other) so he can see out of his room but he cannot leave his room. This isn't being cruel or extreme, it's being safe.

When he is old enough for you to trust him walking around your house at night, you can remove safety handle or gates.

Q of the day: My baby won't nap

One of our readers wrote in today with a question that many parents ponder....

Q. "My baby is four months old and remarkably, she falls asleep on her own in her crib and sleeps through the night. I know I shouldn't complain, but I can't get her to do the same at naptime. The only way I can get her to take a decent nap is to put her in her infant swing. What should I do? She's getting too big for that swing!"

A. It is terrific that you have a bedtime routine that works and a baby that is capable of falling asleep on her own. That skill is extremely important and she has done it! Congratulations!!!

Now, you just have to remind her that she can also do this during daytime naps. And, the way to remind her is to follow your same routine during the day that you use at night. No rocking, no swings, etc. Babies and even older kids may protest at naptime because there is more activity going on and they don't want to miss out on the fun. But, they still need those naps. Say goodnight, keep the house quiet, and let her fall asleep on her own. If she only catnaps, then give her 3-4 short naps during the day. Usually a four month old will take 2 short naps and 1 longer one. But, every child is unique. And, a six month old may still prefer a 3 nap schedule, even though many will drop down to 1 catnap and 1 longer nap during the day.

Bottom line: Give her more naps if she only sleeps for short periods of time. And, be consistent with your nap and your evening bedtime routine.

New 3rd edition of TODDLER 411 to debut August 30!

Let's see if you recognize this child:

Every tooth brushing is a wresting match.

Bribery is required to get him into his car seat.

You can rate and name his tantrums like tropical storms.

And he only eats beige colored food.

 

If this sounds familiar, you need TODDLER 411. This best-selling guide to surviving toddlerhood has just been updated with a brand new, 3rd edition---due out August 30!

Inside, you'll find:

• 20 Toddler “Moments”: learn the tricks to dealing with 20 common toddler behaviors with proven strategies from veteran parents and an expert pediatrician. The new 3rd edition includes a revised and expanded discipline chapter: you'll find more "what to do" and "what to say" tips for all your toddler dilemmas.

• The LATEST medical news and research on asthma, fluoride, how to treat drug-resistant bugs like Staph and more.

• The RED FLAGS for autism: how to spot it and other developmental delays. What specialists do you need to see? What are the treatment options? Our new EXPANDED section on autism will show the way.

• More on VACCINES: you have questions, we have answers. We’ll discuss the hot buttons (Alternative vaccine schedules? Green vaccines?) and provide you with the latest SCIENCE on vaccines.

Special pre-order discount: order the new Toddler 411 3rd edition before August 30 and get free standard shipping (a $3 value)! Or save even more when you order Toddler 411 with one of our other best-selling parenting books (Baby 411, Baby Bargains, Expecting 411). Click here to order!

 

 

Think raising a toddler is hard? Try raising six at once!

One of the most difficult parenting challenges is surviving life with a strong willed, independent minded toddler. (Yes, this is the toddler mission statement and these are positive qualities later in life!) But, can you imagine living and caring for six of them at once?!

I had an opportunity to witness this firsthand recently as I was invited to help the Masche family of the WeTV series, Raising Sextuplets. Jenny and Bryan are a lovely, incredibly caring couple and they have  pretty terrific kids. But having six toddlers in the mix really puts their skills to the test. I gave them some concrete tips on discipline strategies, toilet training, and how to get everyone to sleep through the night.

The show airs on Thursday, August 5 at 10p Eastern/9p Central. Check out the WeTV website for showtimes in your area. Watch the trailer here.Trust me, it will make you appreciate how easy your own life is by comparison!!

Q of the day: When to ditch the binkie?

Q. My baby loves his pacifier. I'm afraid to take it away from him. When it is the ideal time to pull the "plug"?

Pacifier, binkie, plug...call it what you whatever you like. After working with families for 15 years, I think the ideal time to ditch the paci is 6 months. Research shows that pacifiers offer some protection against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and 90% of SIDS cases occur in babies under 6 months of age. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics actually encourages pacifier use in babies for SIDS prevention.

However, pacifiers are meant to soothe a newborn or young infant whose only strategy to soothe himself is his natural instinct to suck. Babies over 6 months of age are much more capable of settling down and they can be consoled in a variety of other ways.

In older babies, the pacifier becomes a crutch (or a mute-button!) and often causes more of a sleep disruption than a binkie-free life. You see, babies form sleep habits and if falling asleep with a pacifier is one of them, they wake up unhappy when it has fallen out. Then, they wake you up and you are unhappy too. Do you really want to be the binkie retriever every 90 minutes throughout the night?

Taking the paci away only becomes more difficult as a child gets older, and remember they have no good reason to continue having it. So, I suggest getting rid of it when there is no longer a need for it and it is easy to do so. It's much harder to take it away from a 1 year old, 2 year old, or a preschooler!

Just do it. I promise it will be easier than you think.